One of the most important things you can do before writing a speech is to get into the hearts and minds of your audience. But you must do more than use what you find to influence your listeners, cajole or convince them.
Communication is something we do together – not a thing to do to, or at, each other.
An audience may respond to one-way information by doing what you want in the short-term. But if you haven’t deeply understood who they are and what they need and if you have not considered how you can work with them with care and kindness, there will come a point where they do something strange. It could start with a seemingly out-of-proportion response to something, or a surprise resignation.
When people don’t feel listened to for long enough, that something strange becomes a war, or an unfathomable election result.
Communication requires care. Care in a conversation, a speech (or your next social media post) gives you a chance to open hearts.
Without care, communication can lead to reactivity.
One person shuts down. Then the other.
It is human to react. It is human to feel hurt. Sometimes we feel hurt for reasons that seem very illogical. When we are reacting it’s hard to listen. Things get interpreted.
When the person you are talking to is reacting, it is hard to keep listening. Things escalate.
But you can change the direction of that escalation.
In a caring conversation there is space for each person to process and integrate. Communication for me is a deeply ethical practice. It takes time and effort and practice.
The benefit of caring and compassionate communication, even with those we find the most challenging (especially with those we find most challenging) is that instead of reactivity, we leave with a new understanding of each other and our world.
Rachael West is a coach and speaker coach in Melbourne. She has been doing this work for over 15 years and has clients across Australia. Get in touch at rachael@rachaelwest.com.au.
STRATEGIC SPEAKER COACH RACHAEL WEST 