Signs you are losing the audience.

Relaxed, relatable styles of speaking have become popular for a reason. Here’s how to do it well, so that it doesn’t seem contrived.

I was a TEDx speaker coach in the early 2010s. Despite looking spontaneous and off-the-cuff, TED talks are highly rehearsed. TED talks ushered in a whole new way of public speaking: one that was highly prepared but very relatable.

This relaxed-but-prepared speaking style has been successful for a reason so it can be a really good approach to develop. Be careful, however, to avoid the ways you can become unstuck. A lot of speakers can fall into a trap of emulating the TED “way” based on what they see from the outside, such as dramatic pauses, stories and other typical TED structures.

All of these are important: you need pauses in a talk. Stories are great.

When you pause in a way that is imposed from the outside, it becomes a device rather than a natural way of ensuring audiences can take in your content. Do this too much and it can border on TED-style parody! A well-placed pause before announcing (in a Steve Jobs letting you in on a secret as I unveil a touch screen kind of tone) “Mary was born in 1927, just before penicillin was discovered” could be fabulous and interesting, or completely cringe.

Pausing or telling stories in a disembodied way will disconnect you from your audience, and yourself. You may recognise you’re getting into that disconnected zone when:
1. You lose awareness of your body.

2. Your mind goes blank in a dissociated way.

3. Your mind fills with thoughts, such as, “I am going to stuff this up if I breathe”.

4. You feel yourself trying to “convince” an audience.

5. You operate in “should” mode, emulating what good speakers DO”, rather than how good speakers ARE.

TED-style is good. Relatable works. If you’re gonna do it, do it well – don’t fake it. And then, why not go “beyond TED” to a style that is really you.

Rachael West is a coach, movement educator and strategic speaker coach. She has been supporting clients to communicate complex topics and make their talks stand out for over 15 years. Get in touch to learn more about how individual coaching and in-house workshops work, or to do something different for your next keynote.