Ethical storytelling: why we need to think about the way we tell stories

Story has long been a powerful tool for learning, connecting and finding meaning

Myth and literature shape our understanding of culture, and telling stories helps us find our place within that culture. Today, storytelling thrives in politics, business and therapy, drawing on frameworks like “the hero’s journey” to heal, attract support and raise awareness. But what does good storytelling look like when feelings are strong and perspectives seem to conflict?

In my postgraduate sexology studies, I looked at the role of story and narrative in the way we understand gender and sexuality. I coach a lot of women and non-binary people to speak about gender-related experiences in the workplace. Often, they tell personal stories to enact change. But while women and non-binary people have been gaining voice and representation in some places and contexts (with full acknowledgement this has not been the case for all) the anger directed at them in certain other situations is increasing. I wanted to understand what we could do about it.

Emotions don’t just affect how we communicate, they change how people interpret what we say.

Like many others, rising negativity and vitriol have led me to feel despair and frustration. The temptation to get angry feels reasonable. I know, though, that speaking from a place of anger is probably not going to be helpful. If we want to reconcile the need to speak up against what we deem unacceptable, with the desire for long-term change, as communicators we need to understand the effect of strong feelings circulating in the community. As a first step, and prompted by the ethics component of my course, I went back back to first principles and considered the ethics of storytelling. I began with the premise, “do no harm”.

Public storytelling should not harm the speaker

Let’s look first at the impact of storytelling on the speaker. When we encourage people to speak publicly about their lives, it’s important to ask whether it actually benefits them personally. Let’s say, hypothetically, you invite someone to tell their story of hardship in order to raise awareness about your charity. If the organisation gets money as a result but the speaker feels like “inspiration porn,” that would probably be unethical.

Public storytelling should benefit the speaker

You would instead find a way for the speaker to tell their story that they found meaningful and benefits your organisation. This means that the life of the speaker is enriched as a result of speaking publicly.

One hidden barrier to speaker benefit is the use of “master narratives”. Master narratives are group-level story structures that tell us what is “good”. Kate McLean and a team of researchers describe a common master narrative right now known as “redemptive storytelling”. This is where a person who went through challenging times tells us what they learnt from their difficulties and how they became a better person. Audiences like these stories and they can help the individual feel more positive about their life.

You can, though, probably see the risk in always looking for the successful and positive outcome from a bad experience. Speakers can feel obliged (particularly if they are part of a marginalised group) to give they audience the story they know will get a positive response. (“Yes, I went through trauma and abuse, but this is how my life has changed for the better”. Cue: audience applause.)

To benefit the speaker you must understand your audience

Annoyingly, though, we cannot simply get up on stage to tell it how it is (“Actually, things were pretty shit and I am angry”). It probably won’t be very effective. (NB I’m talking about public places and not when you are with a good friend or therapist)

People get triggered and have feelings. It seems very unfair to have to take someone else’s reaction into account when you share your hardship! Surely the listener should be responsible for managing their own stuff if they feel uncomfortable about someone else’s lived experience. Why should someone from a historically marginalised group worry if their audience finds it “hard”?

Triggered listeners are unlikely to respond effectively

An audience who reacts (rightly or wrongly) with shame, anger or guilt, probably won’t do the thing we hope. It will be hard for them to feel compassion. Their defensive reactivity could even lead to harm, through hateful language or violence.

It can be tricky to consider how your story affects your audience and the action they take in their world, but it is not impossible. It requires self-reflection so that the work still serves you as an individual. It calls for putting yourselves in the shoes of your audience and carefully considering your shared context.

Ethical storytelling looks beyond the speaker

When you speak in public, you hold the reins to creating the benefit you intend. You can (ethically) shape your narrative and your delivery so that your storytelling benefits you, your audience and the people whose lives you want to improve.

The image for this post was created by WordPress using AI. Some of my references for the text are:
Abkhezr, P. (2024). The narrative lens in the therapeutic context: An overview of narrative therapy. In McMachon, M. & Abkhezr, P. (Eds.), Narrative career counselling: From theory to practice in diverse cultures and contexts. Routledge.
Adler, D. R. (2024). Making visible the “mental wreckage”: A historical materialist reading of Milkman. Journal of Modern Literature.
Campbell, J. (1949). The hero with a thousand faces. New World Library.
Cloitre, M., Lovelund, A. A., Jackson, C., Edward, D., & Baker, M. (2024). STAIR Narrative Therapy for complex posttraumatic stress disorder: Treating sexual and gender minority trauma. Journal of Clinical Psychology.
Delker, B. C., Michel, P., Fogel, C. A., Patterson, A. L., Mize, G., Huber, T., & McLean, K. C. (2024). How do young men narrate the redemption story of a sexual assault perpetrator? European Journal of Psychotraumatology.
Dworkin, E. R., Brill, C. D., & Ullman, S. E. (2019). Social reactions to disclosure of interpersonal violence and psychopathology: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review.
McAdams, D. P. (2013). The positive psychology of adult generativity: Caring for the next generation and constructing a redemptive life. In Positive psychology (pp. 191-205). Springer.
McLean, K. C., Delker, B. C., Dunlop, W. L., Salton, R., & Syed, M. (2020). Redemptive stories and those who tell them are preferred in the U.S. Collabra: Psychology

Rachael West is an executive coach and strategic speaker coach in Melbourne, Australia. She has clients across Australia.